It was heartbreaking to hear about the suicides of two Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students, just a little more than a year after the tragic school shooting in Parkland, Florida. Although the precise cause of the suicides is not yet clear, parents of both admit that their children struggled with “survivors guilt.” One of the students, senior Sydney Aiello, was best friends with one of the students killed last year.
Then, on Monday, the Parkland community was hit hard with the news of another suicide -- that of Jeremy Richman, father of one of the children killed at the Sandy Hook shooting in 2012.
Much will be written about school shootings, rising violence across the US (including two teenagers shot just a few blocks from our house early Sunday morning), the proliferation of guns, etc. But let’s not overlook two very important realities: 1, While news and social media attention quickly moves on after tragedy, people who remain are left to pick up the pieces. 2, The US suicide rate has increased by 25 percent since 2002, while the increase among males 15-24 has been significantly higher than any other age group, especially in the last five years.
Let this sink in: A recent study by Promundo revealed that 1 in 5 males between 18-30 thought about suicide in the last two weeks. 1 in 5.
There are lots of factors involved, but the most important thing you can do as a friend, parent, or grandparent is to check in with your loved one. Talk about it. Do your best to make sure they’re engaged socially. Pull them away from video and online activity if it’s consuming their lives. Have dinner together and talk about the day. Don’t underestimate the lasting effects of trauma or worry over current events. Be open about drug and alcohol use. And talk about suicide. It’s hard, I know, but your kid/grandkid/friend desperately needs to know that they have an ally who is willing to talk through the hard stuff of life.
